Me Am Goodest At English
Sometimes I’ll come up with the stupidest analogies. What makes matters worse is that Dave and I think they’re quite funny. It also doesn’t help that one stupid analogy usually leads to another.
Yes, this is a bad thing.
Observe human de-evolution in action…
[Flashback to the past. Most likely mid 90's. The scene opens with Dave and Jorge driving around Georgetown*, most likely to Subway for a tasty treat. They are discussing a celebrity who is very rich.]
Dave: Man that guy is so rich.
Jorge: Yes. He is. He’s so rich…
Dave: That he’s got money to burn.
Jorge: He’s so rich…
Dave: That he uses hundred dollar bills to wipe his ass.
Dave: He’s so rich…
Jorge: [Fumbling.] That he’s rich beyond all recognition…
Dave: What the hell does that mean?
Jorge: I don’t know, but it’s seems to work.
Dave: [Mocking Jorge.] Hey, check out that guy! A second ago, before he got all that money, I knew who he was! Now? I have no clue! In fact, I don’t recognize him at all!
Dave: I guess the opposite would be poor beyond all anonymity.
Jorge: Yikes. Man, I didn’t know who that guy was, until he went bankrupt and lost everything!
Jorge: I’d hate to be that guy.
Nobel Prize to Jorge and Dave? No.
Knob-el Prize? Perhaps.
You can obseve some other bad analogies on a friend’s page. His name is Dave as well.
The Other Dave
I am surrounded by Daves, and they are all awesome. I plan to have an army of Daves to do my bidding one day. When I shout DAVE! from atop my throne, all Daves will look to me for instruction.
This particular Dave is also a great guy. We spent the last years of University hanging out, developing weird games involving rubber dart guns and Kinder Egg toys. Perhaps one day I’ll regale you with tales of our misdeeds and silliness.
We shall see.
Here is his page. It might be out of date, but it still has some cool links on it, as well as cool information.
* – This in and of itself is bad**.
** – Not as bad as driving around Acton***!
*** – Point taken.